HangOver part two

Drinking Juice/Coffee Afterward: The base premise behind both of these seems to be that drinking lots of juice or coffee will speed up your metabolism and thus the processing of the alcohol. The problem with juice is that it would take gallons of juice to get enough sugar in your system to really change your metabolic rate—an already suspect line of reasoning since researchers in the 1970s established that drinking lots of juice slows down the metabolizing of alcohol. Then, even if the questionable trick worked, you'd have to deal with the massive insulin spike and sugar crash that followed—which can be just as nasty as a hangover. Hydration is important, especially after drinking it up, but juice doesn't do anything special to help you.

Coffee fails in a related fashion. If you drank enough coffee to speed up your metabolism enough to effect the processing of alcohol you'd give yourself heart palpitations and the side effects of mega-dosing on caffeine would dwarf the side effects of your hangover. Even worse, one study suggests that coffee-plus-hangover is a recipe for bad decision making.

If a glass of V8 or a strong cup of coffee makes you feel better/sober up then sure, drink some. Just don't expect it to magically absorb all that vodka. Between the two, the V8 is the superior choice—coffee is a diuretic and light on any nutritional value, whereas your V8 is packed with vitamins and salt, both of which you could use some more of after a night of drinking.

Slamming Pain Killers: Don't load up on over-the-counter pain killers before bed. Not only do drugs like Aspirin and Acetaminophen have short windows of effectiveness in the body—you'll be asleep for their most effective time—but they're hard on your stomach and liver. That's not normally an issue when you're sober, but now is the time to pay attention to those bottle-warnings. Acetaminophen is especially harsh on your liver—thus the big warning on the box of Tylenol about not taking it along with alcohol. Save the pain killers for the next day and only if you really need them—again, you need to let your body focus on purging the alcohol.

 

Drinking Water: Water is a magical elixir that makes your body function. You can never go wrong drinking lots of it and it's the absolute best thing to keep yourself from getting hungover and speeding up hangover recovery. Even better than just drinking a lot of water after the fact is drinking water throughout the prior night.

My unofficial never-have-hangovers routine is to drink a tall glass of water for every unit of alcohol I consume—a unit being one of the equivalency portions they teach in you in health class—1 shot=1 glass of wine=1 beer. Drink water frequently through the night, drink lots of water before you go to bed, drink more water in the morning. In addition to keeping you well hydrated, this technique also serves to regulate alcohol consumption. Would anyone really do 20 shots in an evening if they had to drink around 2 gallons of water to go with them?

 

Eat Up: Drinking liquids doesn't close the valve in your stomach or jump start the metabolic process—one of the reasons drinking cola fattens you up so quickly—so make sure you eat well before you start drinking. The myth side of this tip is that food some how absorbs alcohol and locks it up until your body digests the food. The real reason is the valve in your stomach closes to start the digestion process and it takes longer for the alcohol to absorb into your system—a huge cheeseburger is a metaphorical whiskey-sponge, not a literal one.

A solid meal will cause your stomach to focus on slowing the movement of food and liquid through your body so the digestive process can occur. If you skip the pre-bar-hopping meal, the alcohol you drink is essentially boarding a speed train to your blood stream. Focus on fat and protein-loaded foods to provide a nice slow-burning meal that will help regulate the absorption of alcohol.

 

 

 

Don't neglect a good breakfast, either. You may not feel like eating in the morning, but the last thing your body needs is you stumbling around like a zombie on and empty stomach. Mopping up the mess you made with a bottle of Tequila—just because it's a lighter-colored liquor doesn't always mean it'll protect you from a hangover—is hard work, and you'd be a jerk not to feed the help. Get a solid breakfast with complex carbs and some protein—a case for a farmer's omelet and some thick-sliced toast if there ever was one or perhaps a nice delicious bacon sandwich—to help your body power through

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Drinks from the films

A list of some of the greatest drinks that feature in the films

No.10 - Groundhog Day– Sweet vermouth on the rocks with a twist

During the day that Bill Murray has to repeat over and over again, he takes Andie MacDowell to a bar. At first, he orders a Jim Beam on the rocks, a solid drink for any man. She orders this drink and then launches into a monologue about how it makes her think of Rome. The next time Murray orders her drink and impresses her by launching into the same reasoning.

Recipe
Sweet vermouth
Lemon wedge

Fill a double old-fashioned cocktail glass with ice. Pour the vermouth, stir and twist lemon over the glass. Serve with the lemon twist as garnish.

No.9 - The Nutty Professor (original version) - Alaskan Polar Bear Heater

Buddy Love, Professor Julius Kelp’s alter ego, orders this at a bar. Of course, the bartender has never heard of it, so Love laundry-lists the ingredients. The bartender smirks: “You going to drink this here, or are you going to take it home and rub it on your chest?” While the movie meant it to be a joke, the drink has actually entered drink culture. Despite its annoying ingredients and bitter taste, it’s drinkable. It gets points for originality, but honestly it’s not that tasty.

Recipe
2 shots of vodka
A little rum
Some bitters
Smidgen of vinegar
Shot of vermouth
Shot of gin
A little brandy
Lemon peel
Orange peel
Cherry
More scotch
Mix it nice

Pour it over ice in a tall glass.

No.8 - Cocktail - Red-Eye

From the most pivotal bar movie of the ‘80s comes this doozy. When Brian Flanagan (Tom Cruise) walks in to ask for a bartending job, Doug is mixing up a Red-Eye. Later, when Flanagan is trying to cure a hangover with pizza, his mentor explains the ingredients. Various drinks use the name, but it’s conceivable that Cocktail launched this variation into the world. It actually does help hangovers, as long as the egg doesn’t make you too nauseous.

Recipe
1 oz vodka
6 oz tomato juice
1 can of beer
1 raw egg

Into a tall frosty mug, pour the vodka and tomato juice. Pour in the beer, then crack the egg into it. Do not stir.

No.7 - The Seven Year Itch - Whisky Sours

This film has one of the most iconic images from all of cinema: Marilyn Monroe standing over a subway grate as her dress is blown up. The film also features the best recipe for a breakfast of champions. Richard Sherman, the man trying not to cheat on his absent wife, tells his secretary: “I'm perfectly capable of fixing my own breakfast. As a matter of fact, I had a peanut butter sandwich and two Whisky Sours.”

The first published account of a Whisky Sour is from an 1870 newspaper in Wisconsin. Another tale claims an English steward invented it after opening a bar in Peru around the same time, inspired by the abundant limes from a nearby grove.

Recipe
1 1/2 oz bourbon (or rye, or Irish whiskey)
1 1/2 oz lemon juice, fresh squeezed
1/2 - 3/4 tsp sugar
Orange slice
Maraschino cherry

Shake with ice and serve over ice in an old-fashioned glass. Garnish with the cherry and orange slice.

No.6 - It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World - Old Fashioned

In a classic scene from this screwball comedy, Tyler Fitzgerald (played by the actor who was Thurston Howell III) decides he needs a drink as he’s flying Benjy Benjamin (Buddy Hackett) and Ding Bell (Mickey Rooney) to their destination. “Make us some drinks,” he says. “You just press the button back there marked ‘booze.’ It's the only way to fly!” The FAA may disagree, but Old Fashioneds are perfect if you’re sitting in first class.

One of the first drinks to be called a cocktail, it dates back to the turn of the 19th century.

Recipe
2 oz bourbon
2 dashes bitters
1 splash water
1 tsp sugar
1 cherry
1 orange wedge

Serve over ice in a short round tumbler glass, then garnish with the cherry and orange wedge.


No.5 - Bonfire Of The Vanities - Sidecar

When Bruce Willis’ character, Peter Fallow, meets with Arthur, the husband of gold-digging southern belle Maria Ruskin (Melanie Griffith), the old man orders a Sidecar with Courvoisier VSOP. Due to his health, he’s not supposed to drink, but since his wife is in Italy she won’t know. The drink is so delicious, Arthur is willing to tempt the fates of his health and have one anyway.

The exact origin of the Sidecar is unknown, but it appears to originate around World War I in either London or Paris. One story credits its invention to an American Army captain in Paris, who rode in a motorcycle sidecar to and from the bistro where he drank.

Recipe
1 ½ oz Courvoisier VSOP
1 oz Triple Sec
1 oz lemon juice
Lemon slice
Granulated sugar

You can use a cheaper cognac if you wish, but it won’t be a true Bonfire Sidecar. Wet the rim of a cocktail glass and dip it in the sugar. Combine the first three ingredients with ice in a shaker. Pour everything into a martini glass and garnish with lemon.


No.4 - Casablanca - French 75

Numerous cocktails fill the days and nights of Casablanca. Centered around a bar called Rick’s, the characters in this love story swill regularly. However, no drinks are as interesting as the French 75s ordered by Yvonne and her Nazi suitor.

A bulldog of a cocktail, it gets its name from the 75-millimeter M1897, a light but gnarly gun that became the mainstay of the French field artillery in World War I. Some sources say Franco-American World War I flying ace Raoul Lufbery created the drink after complaining his champagne needed more kick. More than two of these delights and you’ll be kicking down your ex-girlfriend’s door, calling her Ingrid Bergman.

Recipe
2 oz London dry gin or cognac
1.5 oz of fresh-squeezed lemon juice
5 oz of chilled champagne
1 tsp. superfine sugar
1/2 oz lemon juice

Shake with ice, except the champagne, in a chilled cocktail shaker. Pour into a Collins glass half full of ice and top off with champagne.


No.3 - Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas - Singapore Sling

This cloven-footed sweet taste of thunder launched Hunter S. Thompson on his journey in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. In a flashback to the beginning of the journey, Raoul Duke (Thompson’s alter ego) explains they were “sitting in the Pogo Lounge of the Beverly Hills Hotel... in the patio section, of course, drinking Singapore Slings with mescal on the side.”

Not just a clever name, the drink was invented in Singapore at the Raffles Hotel around 1910. This original recipe fell into disuse, but decades later the hotel did their best to recreate it from interviews and found notes.

Recipe
1 1/2 oz gin
1/2 oz Cherry Liqueur
1/4 oz Cointreau
1/4 oz Benedictine
1/3 oz grenadine
1/2 oz lime juice
4 oz pineapple juice
Dash of bitters

Serve over ice in a highball glass. Add a side of mescal, a long cigarette holder and a briefcase full of drugs for the true Fear & Loathing experience. Garnish with a maraschino cherry, pineapple chunk and orange slice.

No.2 - The Big Lebowski - White Russian

The New York Times ran an article last year attributing the resurgence of this drink almost exclusively to the cult hit Coen Brothers film. While it bombed in the box offices, the slacker staple is now in every male DVD collection. The Dude drinks White Russians (aka Caucasians) throughout the film and has inspired fans to do the same. It’s the best-known movie cocktail combo since the James Bond martini.

Named after an anti-Bolshevik group from the Russian Civil War, the Oxford English Dictionary cites a 1965 newspaper from Oakland, California as the drink’s first mention. Popular in the late ‘70s, it became uncommon until The Dude revived it.

Recipe
2 oz vodka
1 oz Kahlua or other coffee-flavored liqueur
1 oz light cream

Depending on personal taste, any milk or cream will do. The Dude, at one point, even uses powdered nondairy creamer. Serve in an old-fashioned glass over ice.


No.1 - Casino Royale - Vesper

This began the “shaken, not stirred” craze, but the Vesper is still relatively unknown. Bond author Ian Fleming invented this recipe, or at least named it. Daniel Craig orders one Casino Royale: “Three measures of Gordon’s; one of vodka; half a measure of Kina Lillet. Shake it over ice, and add a thin slice of lemon peel.” On the fly, he names it after double agent Vesper Lynd. “Because of the bitter aftertaste?” she asks. “No, because once you've tasted it, that's all you want to drink,” he answers.

In Fleming’s day Gordon’s gin was 94 proof. Now it’s 80 proof, so look for a 94 proof gin like Tanqueray to stay authentic. Likewise, buy 100 proof vodka, Bond approves of Stolichnaya, for the classic taste. Unfortunately, Kina Lillet, the French aperitif wine that gives this cocktail such a unique flavor, is no longer available in its original blend. Lillet Blanc is the closest thing.

Recipe
3 oz London dry gin
1 oz vodka
1/2 oz Lillet Blanc

Shake with ice until chilled, and serve with a thin slice of lemon peel “in a deep champagne goblet” because as Bond says in the novel: "I never have more than one drink before dinner. But I do like that one to be large and very strong and very cold and very well-made.”

Looking for more movie trivia? Check out our Top 10: Buddy Scenes and our Top 10: Movies Your Father Loved.

Recession Busting in Galway

Sally longs
€3 for there own lager

The cellar
drinks promos every night

Fibber Magees
two for one cocktails

Oslo
€3 for craft brew

Recession Busting in dublin

The Gingerman
40 Fenian Street Dublin 2
2 litre pitcher of red, weiss or larger €13
the red is from the Franciscan well brewery

Messers Maguires
€4 a pint

bull and castle
€4 a pint

world's strongest beer

Scottish brewer BrewDog makes world's strongest beer

Aberdeenshire-based firm launches 41% ABV ale Sink the Bismarck weeks after German brewer releases 40% offering

A Scottish brewery is trying to wrest the distinction of making the world's strongest beer from a German rival by launching a 41% ABV ale called Sink The Bismarck! According to the Aberdeenshire-based firm BrewDog, the IPA "takes beer to a whole new level". Its launch comes weeks after German brewer Schorschbrau released a 40% strength Schorschbock. Sink The Bismarck! costs £40 for a 330ml bottle and will only be sold through Brewdog's website. The firm drew criticism from industry watchdog the Portman Group last year for its 32% strength beer, Tactical Nuclear Penguin.

http://www.schorschbraeu.de/schorschbraeu/site/

http://www.brewdog.com/beer.php

drink of the celtic gods

BOTTLES OF THE WEEK

Whitewater Clotworthy Dobbin
, Northern Ireland, 500ml bottle, 5%, €2.99

This is made by the Whitewater Brewery in Kilkeel, Co Down. All of its beers were very good, including a very tasty lager and one of the best ales of the night. The Clotworthy stood out as one of my favourites, and most of my group agreed. It tastes like a cross between an ale and a porter, with a lovely balance of hops and fruit, fresh and dry but not rasping. It really stood out as something special. Whitewater is a true microbrewery, founded in 1996 with four employees. It is possible to visit the brewery by appointment, or visit the White Horse Inn, their pub in Saintfield, a few miles from the brewery. See whitewaterbrewery.com for further details. Stockists: Very widely available in Northern Ireland, including many independents, Tesco, Sainsbury’s and Asda. In the south, Deveney’s, Dundrum; Redmond’s, Ranelagh; Carvill’s, Camden Street; McHugh’s, Kilbarrack Road and Artane; Martin’s, Marino; Harvest, Galway; Holland’s, Bray.

St Peter’s Organic Ale
, England, 500ml, bottle, 4.5%, €3.89

English ales and bitters deserve far better recognition in this country. They offer so much more than the tasteless commercial lagers. St Peter’s Brewery makes a wide range of interesting beers, including a lovely porter. All come in a distinctive bottle, modelled on an 18th-century gin bottle. This is a real session beer, light enough to drink all night but with plenty of interest, too. Fresh, zippy and clean with a subtle hoppiness. Stockists: D6 Wines, Dublin 6; Cheers, Bakers Corner; Mill Wines, Maynooth; McHugh’s, Kilbarrack and Artane; Abbot Ale House, Cork; 1601 Off Licence, Kinsale.


Maredsous Tripel
, Belgium, 330ml bottle, 10%, €3.30

This was an amazing mouthful covering just about every sensation; rich and powerful with a hint of sweet fruitiness, yet with a pleasing bitterness too. Despite the high alcohol, it still manages to retain a lovely freshness. Definitely not a session beer, but enjoy a single glass or have it with fairly substantial food. Originally brewed by Benedictine monks, this is now made by the Duvel Moortgat brewery, which also produces the wonderful Duvel range of beers. Stockists: Deveney’s, Dundrum and Rathmines; Whelan’s, Wexford Street; Drink Store, Manor Street; O’Neills, South Circular Road; World Wide Wines Waterford.

Maisel’s Dunkel Weisse, Germany, 500 ml bottle, 5.2%, €2.35-€2.99

Apparently, there are four kinds of wheat beer: Heffe, the cloudy style we are most familiar with here; Kristal, which has been filtered; alcohol-free; and dark or dunkel. Maisel’s is dark. This is a wheat beer with attitude. Dark brown in colour, with a cocktail of fruits, mainly banana and citrus, along with refreshing spiciness. Brewed in Bayreuth in northern Bavaria. Stockists: Deveney’s, Dundrum; Sweeney’s, Phibsboro; Drinks Store, Manor Street; Bradley’s, Cork; Egan’s, Portlaoise; Harvest, Galway; Dicey Riley’s, Ballyshannon.

La Trappe Bockbier
, The Netherlands, 330ml bottle 7% €2.85-€2.99

This is a Bavarian-style beer, made in a monastery in the Netherlands. Bock beer was traditionally made in Bavaria, where they had top-fermenting yeasts, as used in Pilsners. However, it is made with deeply toasted malts and therefore has a deeper colour and more flavour. La Trappe is produced only in the autumn, and continues to ferment in the bottle. It is big and rich with an attractive dry fruitiness with malt and caramel. This is well worth seeking out. Stockists: Deveney’s, Dundrum; Bradley’s, Cork; Sheridan’s, Galway; The Oslo, Galway.

Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, USA, 250ml bottle 5.6% €2.99

Sierra Nevada was founded in 1979 by science graduate Ken Grossmann. It has grown exponentially in size, and can no longer be considered a micro-brewery. Standards remain high though, with some very good beers coming from here. The Torpedo IPA and Porter are well worth trying if you can find them The Pale Ale is surprisingly light in style, with a fragrant nose, and very moreish, malty citrus fruits. Clean and long, this slips down easily on its own, but would be a good match for lighter foods. Stockists: Deveney’s, Dundrum; Redmond’s, Ranelagh; Drink Store, Manor Street; McHugh’s, Kilbarrack and Artane; Jus de Vine, Portmarnock; Holland’s, Bray.

Tv show Drinking Games

The A-Team

Drink when:
• When George Peppard appears in costume or disguise, drink.
• When Hannibal breaks out a cigar, drink.
• When BA must be tricked onto an airplane (i.e. put under) drink 3 times.
• When Murdoch is busted out of a mental ward, drink 4 times.
• When the antagonist has an accent, drink.
• When a jeep flips over, drink. (Lands on its side, once. Otherwise, twice.)
• If the episode takes place in a foreign country, drink.
• When anyone calls Murdoch crazy, drink.
• If BA calls him crazy, drink twice.
• Whenever Face woos a girl to get supplies, drink.
• Face kisses a girl: drink.
• Every time someone is thrown over the camera, drink.
• If BA throws someone through furniture or a window, drink.
• Whenever they bust out guns, drink.
• If they use a grenade, drink twice.
• When anything explodes, drink.
• If a super vehicle creation involves a flamethrower, drink 3 times!
• If a handicapped person appears, drink.
• If a biker gang are the antagonists, drink. If they are protagonists, drink twice.
• If any Battlestar Galactica reference is made, finish your drink!
• When BA drives the van, drink.
• When Murdoch flies a chopper or plane, drink.
• If Col. Decker catches up to the A-Team, finish drink.
• If BA says "foo," "sucka" or "chump," drink!
• Whenever Face acts smug, drink. (Open to a lot of interpretation).
• Any time the music is a variation of the A-Team theme, drink!
• Drink whenever Murdoch switches personalities.
• "To be continued" episode--finish drink.
• If BA befriends a child, drink.
• If the camera gets wet during a car chase, drink.
• Any time the team finds a welder or oxygen cutter in an old shed, drink twice.

Knight Rider

General (# of shots)
• 1 "Knight" appears in episode title
• 2 "KITT" appears in episode title
• 1 Every time the subplot appears (if there is one)
• 1 Any long, musical driving scene
KITT (# of shots)
• 1 Mention of the "molecular bondage shell"
• 1 Turbo Boosts
• 2 Has all power transferred to Turbo Boost
• 2 Is unable to Turbo Boost for some reason
• 1 Gets installed with a new device
• 2 Gets installed with a new device that is flawed, or does not accomplish the purpose for which it was installed
• 4 Gets installed with a new device that is not used in the same episode
• 1 Uses a fairly well-known feature (one that appears in over 2 or 3 episodes, ie- Microjam, oil slick)
• 3 Uses a feature we've never seen before, and likely ever will again (ie- Sub zero)
• 1 Super Pursuit Mode
• 1 Emergency Braking System
• 1 Doesn't understand something/asks for an explanation
• 1 Awes someone with his abilities
• 2 Has someone other than Michael behind the wheel
• 1 Blacks the windows to talk with someone outside
• 2 Has a bomb/explosive blow up under/in him
• 1 Gets captured or has rear wheels elevated
• 2 Gets badly damaged (ie- "Ring of Fire")
• 3 Gets totalled (ie- "Knight of the Juggernaut")
MICHAEL KNIGHT (# of shots)
• 1 Is hassled by local law
• 2 Is arrested and/or thrown in jail
• 3 Is hassled by cops who turn out to be crooked
• 2 Is checked out by someone who finds no information on him, or that "up until x years ago you didn't exist"
• 1 Talks into his watch
• 1 Asks for money from Devon
• 1 Is told by someone to "Be careful"
• 1 Goes undercover
• 1 Has KITT take over so he can perform some fool stunt
• 2 Has KITT take over because he's not able to drive or just doesn't want to drive
• 1 "KITT! I need you buddy!" (or words to this effect)
• 2 Overrides KITT's programming
• 2 Gets separated from KITT
• 1 Gets romantic with, or kisses someone
• 4 Gets married

Family guy

One Drink
• Cut scene
• Character consumes alcohol
• Played out stereotype
• Allusion/Reference
• Peter gets hurt
• Peter says "Sweet"
Two Drinks
• Stewie tries to kill Lois
• Stewie formulates a plan
• Stewie does something feminine
• Stewie has a weapon
• Chris becomes nervous around a girl
• Brian and Stewie fight
• Peter does "the laugh"
• Peter gives Chris bad advice
• Peter embarrasses Meg
• Visit to the Drunken Clam
• A gag is repeated
• Commercial break
• Chicken fight!
Three Drinks
• Stewie says "Victory is mine"
• Peter says "Holy crap"
• Brian has a martini
• Meg is referred to as ugly in some way
• Non-human character is shown (excluding Brian)
• Quagmire makes a sexual reference ("giggity giggity" usually counts!)
• Quahog News is shown
• Every time Cleveland Jr. laughs
• Stewie says "What the Duece!"
• Character plays the piano
• Character removes an article of clothing
• Cleveland mentions Lois
Four Drinks
• Lois's parents show up
• Make fun of (c) Fox
Five Drinks
• Drawn out scene (add a drink if crickets chirp)
• The "Evil Monkey" makes an appearance

Withnail & I drinking game

There is a drinking game associated with Withnail & I. The game consists of keeping up, drink for drink, with each alcoholic substance consumed by Withnail over the course of the film. All told, Withnail is shown drinking roughly nine and a half glasses of red wine, half a pint of cider, one shot of lighter fluid (vinegar or over-proof rum are common substitutes), two and a half shots of gin, six glasses of sherry, thirteen glasses of whisky and half a pint of ale. It may be presumed that this quantity of alcohol, if consumed during the course of the film, would prove fatal.

Star Trek

Sip if any of the following occur:
• Bones says "He's dead, Jim."
• Bones points out he's a doctor, not a ___________
• Kirk gets the girl
• Kirk outwits a computer
• Kirk violates the prime directive
• Kirk's shirt gets ripped
• Kirk bluffs his out
• Kirk takes responsibility for the whole crew
• Kirk saves the day with a stirring speech
• Kirk kisses the girl
• Kirk says "We come in peace" and "shoot to kill" in the same sentence
• Kirk says "Phasers on stun"
• Spock shows emotion
• Spock uses the Vulcan neck pinch
• Spock looks into the science station
• Spock refers to the doctor as illogical
• Spock says "Fascinating" or "Indeed"
• Scotty complains about the warp speed requested/demanded
• Scotty pulls off a miraculous technological feat
• Scotty says "The engines canna take much more a this, Captain"
• Chekov promotes Russian history
• Chekov says "But Keptin...."
• Chekov pronounces a 'w' like a 'v'
• Sulu sets course
• Sulu has the con
• Uhura says "Hailing frequencies open"
• Uhura opens a channel in all frequencies and all languages
• Uhura sings
• Yeoman Rand gives Kirk something to initial
• Yeoman Rand serves coffee
• Nurse Chapel lusts after Spock
• Kyle makes his appearance as transporter chief
• Lt. Leslie appears or is mentioned
• A redshirt dies
• The weapons are powerless
• The transporter is inoperative
• Dilithium crystals are drained/inoperative/missing
• Communicators malfunction
• The shields are about to collapse
• The Enterprise goes faster than it is possibly able to
• The Enterprise is taken over by a superior alien power
• You see a styrofoam planet or a planet with no atmosphere
• A newly discovered planet is "Much like Earth"
• Klingon and Romulan technology is mixed up
• Special effects people cannot tell phasers from photon torpedoes
CHUG if any of the following occur:
• Kirk does not get the girl
• Sulu gets a sword
• Major character dies/is assumed dead
• Starfleet exhonorates the crew for their violation of regulations/orders
• The episode was blatantly ripped off by ST:TNG
• Lt. Leslie speaks
• Anybody makes a "historical" reference to the 20th century

Irish Stouts

This list comes from John Wilson of the Irish times

Marks & Spencer Irish Stout

€3.29 for 500ml, €6.58 per litre

Highs : Buying stout from M&S is like buying a bowler hat and brolly in Guineys, so we were very suspicious when we happened across this bottle. Despite in-built and entirely irrational prejudices about the “brewed in Éire” on the label, we were surprised by how good this was. Its taste, the bottle tells us, “was said to make grown men weep for more”! We didn’t weep but could certainly have downed a couple more bottles. It is a completely different product from the canned stouts we reviewed. It smells very strongly of hops and has a lovely smooth finish and strong flavours.

Lows : While it would accompany a plate of strong cheddar nicely, we’re not sure how well it would go down on a night in watching the football. Apart from the whole Éire problem, we were also concerned with the price.

Verdict : Nice but pricey.

Star Rating: * * *

Murphys

€2.19 for 500ml, €4.38 per litre

Highs : This Cork stout runs Guinness surprisingly close in the creamy head (and in the creamy rings left around a pint glass) stakes. It is very smooth and easy to drink with a lightness not to be found anywhere else. It has slightly sweet undertones, thanks to the presence of chocolate malt in the mix, and a hoppy aftertaste that lingers. An easier introduction to stout than some of the more robust-flavoured stouts on the market. It has the lowest alcohol content – a plus or minus depending on your perspective – but we consider it a plus.

Lows : It doesn’t matter if you have this in draught or from a can, it is hard to get away from the fact that (Cork people look away now) it is thinner and more watery than the product which comes out of St James’s Gate.

Verdict: Just a little thin.

Star Rating: * *

Guinness

€1.77 for 330ml, €5.36 per litre

Highs : There is a lot to be said for familiarity and before we had even popped open this stubby can with its gassy widget, we were feeling sufficiently well-disposed to almost ignore the fact that it was significantly pricier than many of its peers (although, to be fair, it does cost less when bought in the 500ml cans). To say this product has a long tradition is something of an understatement. The 330ml can has a distinct advantage in that it fits into a pint glass without any overspill. It also tastes fuller, with the roasted malt flavours coming through strongly, and is richer than the canned competition. It has a creamy head which stays in place for the duration.

Lows : It is comparatively expensive and too easy to drink too much of it.

Verdict : Best from a can.

Star Rating: * * * *

Beamish

€1.76 for 500ml, €3.52 per litre

Highs : Beamish has been brewed in a fairly small Cork brewery for a very long time, although we won’t be able to say that for much longer as its parent company, Heineken, is moving production to the brewery where Murphys is made. It deserves kudos for being the cheapest of the stouts we tried. It comes out frothy and its bitter flavours give it a pleasingly sharp bite. Its colour suggests it is the one which truly deserves to be called the black stuff and it pulls off the trick of being light without tasting watered-down.

Lows : We found it to be surprisingly fizzy for a stout, although it did lose its head very fast and was (Cork people look away again) almost completely flat by the time we got halfway through our glass.

Verdict : Solid.

Star Rating: * * *

O’Hara’s Leann Folláin

€2.50 for 355ml, €7.04 per litre

Highs : We have a sneaking but unconfirmed suspicion that this Carlow brewery is also responsible for the M&S stout, but its own “Extra” Irish stout is in a class of its own. It has bitter coffee undertones and a depth of flavour that leaves the canned stouts in the ha’penny place. It’s 6 per cent but doesn’t taste strong.

Lows : It might be a little daunting at first and if you’re expecting a creamy stout with a big head, prepare to be disappointed as this delivers very little by way of a head. It’s the most expensive of the lot and will also prove hard to get as it is aimed mostly at the export market (we found it in the always excellent Drink Store in Dublin’s Stoneybatter). If you can’t find this, O’Hara’s regular brew is pretty fine too.

Verdict : Pricey but worth it.

Star Rating: * * * * *